Wednesday, 1 April 2015

The Day That The Developers Tried Too Hard Awards!


April Fools is once again upon us, so cue developers lining up to modify their games, tease stupid products and inevitably go way too far and just be plain mean. So today, all real news (Of which there probably is none) will be shoved aside to celebrate the good and the bad of this year's April Fools day announcements!

The Take That, Haters! award goes to Mojang, for adding a new Love and Hugs Update for Minecraft. It may seem like a softening up of things by Mojang, but really it's just a satire on overprotective parents and the recent news of Turkey trying to ban Minecraft for depicting "violence against women and animals". New mechanics include the removal of animal-bashing, the removal of Hunger and Health, a new Love meter and the replacement of Survival mode, which has been renamed "Existence". I honestly recommend reading all of the patch notes, for obvious reasons.

The Please Make This Happen award goes to Swery65, for teasing a new fictional game, D5: Dark Dreams Don't Die with Deadly Premonition. Only a couple of screenshots were released, one in which Francis (Deadly Premonition) asks David (D4) whether he prefers "mustard or hot sauce?", an obvious reference to an event in Deadly Premonition in which Francis asks the same question to George Woodman. Next thing you know, you'll be able to order the "Sinners Sandwich" on the web!

The I Would Never Even Believe That award goes to Playstation for announcing the Playstation Flow, a set of goggles and straps that attach to your biceps and quads and "track your movement". According to Sony, this system is designed for use in underwater sections in games such as The Last of Us Remastered. You'd have to be hugely gullible to believe it, but it's an entertaining prospect: imagine going into your public pool, acting out one of the many Uncharted underwater sections, and bumping into a school of waterwing-toting old women doing their Aquarobics.

Lastly, the Journalism! award (For the best made-up story) goes to Stuff, for reporting that Susan Boyle will be joining Dr. Dre's Beats empire, with her own Beats by Boyle line, complete with pretty flowers. The best part, however, is the teasing of a collabration between Boyle and Dre, titled "Straight Outta Scotland", Bravo.

"Straight Outta Scotland, tame Scottish woman named Subo!"
Did I miss any more amazing April Fools jokes? Tell me in the comments!

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