Tuesday, 1 April 2014

You Lose Tuesday, Rambo!

Don't lie to me, you mistook Rambo for a soul eating sweaty half horse half man in this picture.

In Rambo: The Video Game, violence is the name of the game; after all, you do kill 150 people in the first level. If you killed 150 people in a cover shooter, RTS or FPS, then Rambo: The Video Game wouldn't be half bad! But it's an ON RAILS SHOOTER. ON A PC. Words can't describe how bad those two things go. No, they don't go together like chalk and cheese, they go together like a rabid squirrel and Meredith from The Office. I mean, they could have shipped a light gun with it, but no, you can use the mouse and keyboard! I will not name and shame the developers, but I think they need to rethink their formula. A movie game that's an on rails shooter without a light gun isn't exactly a good recipe.

If you're playing Rambo on PC, it's simply a case of click on your enemies and they're dead. No satisfaction. But you might think that the PS3 version is good, because of the Playstation Move being like a light gun? No sir ee Bob. And you know what the developers of Rambo thought would make the game even better? Quick Time Events. I'm seriously starting to question what these developers know about games! Also, there are many scenes added into Rambo: The Video Game that aren't in any of the movies, so this game is just a mishmash of Rambo killing people from every country (Including America!).

You'd think that because of the scoring system in the levels and the upgrades and perks you can buy that Rambo: The Video Game would have a hint of replayability, but because of the dumb AI just standing in one place, ready for you to shoot them, it's hard not to nail the levels the first time around! Also, the campaign is just so repetitive, I'd be surprised if anyone makes it through it! You'd think that the perks and upgrades would make this game fun, by adding things like being able to carry an RPG around all the time or a big head mode, but instead the upgrades make the game a million times easier, and therefore a million times less fun.

It does have some detail, and big Rambo fans will notice very subtle details that the developers have put in there just for the fans, but they don't look good. The graphics (Most notably the cutscenes) seem PS2 era at the worst, and the sound? Well, it sounds like it was recorded inside a helicopter, as it's so crackly and muffled. Then, last of all, is the Co Op mode. Normally, I'm a sucker for co op, as it''s great to know that you've got people on your side, but really all this is is a second target slapped onto the screen. No second gun, no second player, no second nothing.

So, for being a repetitive light-gun shooter without a light gun, Rambo: The Video Game, we don't salute, but instead we laugh at you from the arcade!

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